I recently came across a book at my local library entitled, “My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches From Just The Other Side of Young”, by Stephanie Dolgoff.
(Any questions regarding purchasing this book or to leave the author a comment, I’ve provided a link to her blog above.)
I may be just a tad bit older than the author when she wrote this book, but nonetheless, after reading this book, I realized this was my life in print, ha!
I am at the stage in life where everything starts to go south or finds a new zip code. I am also at a point in life where I am seeking a new direction, or I am finding myself on a new path whether I want one or not, so I’d better get used to it.
Since becoming unemployed, I have found a new resilience. I’ve realized to become comfortable with the uncomfortable, I need to accept that which I can’t control, including what size my body thinks it should be.
I’ve lost significant weight for the first time in my life without doing a damn thing. Having no income of my own really tightened the financial belt, but hey, I didn’t die, I’m still here, kicking it as I’ve always done, but a new attitude of not caring what anyone thinks.
When you were younger, you knew what was “in”, you knew the latest fads, music, hangouts, clubs, lingo, catch phrases, etc. (You “thought” you were “hotter“, because you walked the path less chosen and blazed your own path.)
A quintessential “Formerly” I strive to be is aware of where she has been and has found peace with where she is today. This isn’t to say she walks around not caring about how she looks, careless in what she says, but takes care of her body the best she can, at the stage of life it is in (not where or what it once was) and has a plethora of knowledge acquired over the past several decades.
She more or less has resolved herself or found peace within to accept who she has become. She has decided she really doesn’t give a crap if she doesn’t measure up to someone else’s expectation or vision of what or who she should be.
I’ve always loved to read. I’ve always loved books. I loved being a library aide in high school. I could be surrounded by books for a full 42 minute period of my day. Reading books, I always felt I could be whatever I dreamed I wanted to be. I’ve even thought about blogging for awhile….well, off and on I have.
I’ve been more or less an introvert most of my life, but my siblings would wholeheartedly object with that theory, lol! I grew up with five sisters and two brothers. I was the tough cookie.
I would take dares willingly and as an exciting challenge. If someone told me I couldn’t do something, look out!, I was going to try whatever it was, even if I fell on my face doing it and I couldn’t care less what anyone thought of my crazy stunts.
I recall when my first husband asked my father if he could marry me, my Dad responded with, “She is a handful. Are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into?!”
Several years ago, my Dad reminded me that I was quite the early riser. Reason being, we didn’t have a hot water tank until I was around 10 years old, and the one we could afford was only a 30 gallon. Having hair almost to my butt meant getting into that shower before anyone else did!
In high school, I was active in most sports. Actually, I was involved in every sport available except for basketball and tennis. (For some reason, I didn’t find basketball “feminine” enough, whatever that means and tennis was for “cool” kids. ) I did play tennis outside of school though. Hey, that’s what I felt and did, so get over it, lol!
You would think being a cheerleader, gymnast, runner, majorette, a volleyball and softball player, I would be an extrovert, but you would be wrong. I have never felt comfortable standing out. I enjoyed being part of a team and having the feeling of contributing to something greater than myself.
Albert Einstein has been credited with the quote, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”.
Since my job/career has stalled, I realize in order for change to occur, change has to occur from within, from self, and a lot of uncomfortable feelings are being stirred up, and acceptance of that which is uncomfortable is the new norm.
I think success will find me once the new “norm” becomes as seamless as brushing my teeth, without even realizing I am doing something I once considered “uncomfortable”.
Even if I never do anything worthy of accolades, if I can do that which I never thought I would EVER do, and do it with the enthusiasm as the dares of my youth (stories for another blog), I think I’ll be alright!
*To Stephanie – thank you for your kind words of encouragement to express myself!!! I am forever grateful!*
“Promise me you‘ll always remember: You‘re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A. A. Milne.
Check out Stephanie Dolgoff’s blog, “Formerlyhot.com”, the author of “My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches From Just The Other Side of Young”.