Beloved Beauty

Dear Daughter in-law,

Remember how hard childbirth was, ESPECIALLY the second time around? When you thought you should know better. That you really should know what you are doing by now, and should be able to handle it so much better? How truly exhausting and painful it was? How the nurses would say how great you were doing, and you were doing wonderful?

You thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me, right?!” Well, guess what??? You ARE doing AWESOME!!!

I knew a woman, years ago, who lost a young child, while she still had two young children to care for. She wanted to give up. She took to drinking to try to ease the pain of the loss. Some say she neglected her other children, I do not know. I do know she didn’t handle it as well as one of those children wanted her to.

I know because I was married to one of those remaining children when they grew up.  Years later, he still felt the loss of his mother, the one he knew before and the one he had to accept after the loss of his five year old brother.

He blamed himself. What could a 7 year old do, when a brave officer lost his life trying to save him?

I know how much you love, cherish and care for your parents. How you bring your father to doctor visits.

I know how busy your day is taking care of two young, energetic boys. You make sure the needs of my son are provided for, both in company and otherwise.

I know your struggles.  I know of the pain and loss so deep, it can not be fully understood unless you have gone through it yourself, and even then, it would not be the same. Thisthis loss is personal to YOU.

It would have been so very, very easy for you to check out. To stop caring, to say to hell with it all, to everyone, let them fend for themselves. I would be helpless and powerless to do anything about it, EVEN it we weren’t 900 miles away from each other.

BUT, you didn’t. You found the strength, the courage, the resiliency to push through the pain. Every damn day, you do. I thank God above for that!

You say you don’t see the beauty in yourself any longer, but guess what, even I can see it clearly from nearly 900 miles away.

Everyone else sees it in YOU. BOTH your inner AND outer beauty. It can never be taken away from you.  I thank God every day for giving you to my son, to my grandchildren and to me.

Dearest Ariel, I am forever grateful for you. sparkling-heart_1f496

Much love always,










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